So many "it depends" here. My old Alden schooner had the main spreaders about 5/8 up but the fore spreaders were more like 4/5 up. Both hollow round wooden masts keel stepped, Double headsail rigs have different loads, as to gaff rigs. Solid or hollow wood, round or oval or box section, aluminum, carbon, deck versus keel stepped . . . And all that's before we look at sail area, porportions, hull's power and heeling moment . . .
One really fun thing is to talk to a good marine engineer who has attempted to rethink the stay locations and scantlings on an L Francis Herreshoff rig. Dude was cagey, to say the least.
If it's not a large rig and you've over-built anyway and especially if you don't like paying for someone to figure it out correctly, put the spreaders somewhere between 5/8 and 2/3 up or, if a gaff rig, just above the unreefed throat, and tell the world you don't need no stinking naval architect.
G'luck
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